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Again! :x

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La la la … Life’s a bitch.

Why do I feel like somewhere along the line I have failed myself? Disappointed everybody around me? Like no matter how hard I try to please everybody & myself it’s never good enough & never will be. It’s like everywhere I turn all I see is frowning faces & disappointed smirks- even when I look in the mirror. I failed myself to pursue my dreams, failed myself at trying the hardest for what means the most to me, almost to the brink of realization that I’m so empty. Empty of hope, aspiration, dignity, energy, enthusiasm … everything. There’s just not enough of anything to push me forward, as if it doesn’t matter if I do or don’t bc in the end it won’t amount to anything. & the worst part is I care & don’t care all at the same time. Talk about confusion & delusional. Ha! Eh, I want this feeling to go away. I just came over the realization that there is so much in store for me & now to feel like utter shit is not going to help me.

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